Well, Bunter seems to be adjusting to all of the medicine, and he is still doing fairly well. He still has a really hard time paying attention. I will tell him not to do something dozens of times, and he will do it anyway. Or, I will ask him to do something...like pick up his toys...and he turns the deaf ear on me.
We have been out of school for four days now. Tomorrow is our last day of the holiday before we all return to school. I have tons of papers that need to be graded, but I can't seem to find a spare minute with the kids running around. We have been running all over the place, and I still have a million things to accomplish.
Today, my uncle's fiance nearly hit me with her car. I was leaving...and with me was my 77 year old grandmother and my two babies. She was coming in, and doing at least 40 miles an hour. We live on a very sandy dirt road, so naturally she slid when she hit the breaks. She nearly went off into the creek that is below the road. I lost my temper and let her have it...verbally. I felt bad for losing it in front of the kids, but that was soooo irresponsible. She is 18 years old, and she thinks she knows everything. She and my uncle have been staying with us for several reasons, but as of tonight, my husband has put her out. She is such a drama queen, and all she does is stir up drama! I never thought I could be so annoyed by someone. I can't say that I am sad to see her go...because, quite frankly, life will be much more peaceful.
Bear has found a new talent. She has started painting. She painted a picture over the weekend that absolutely amazed me. There is a castle, and behind the castle is a pond and mountains. There is a rainbow in the sky, and a beautiful, sparkling sun in the top corner. I sketched out the drawing for her on a 16 by 20 canvas, and she painted it. I only helped her with the small details, and my uncle free handed the blocks on the castle walls. No one can believe that she painted it, and I wouldn't believe it either had I not been sitting right next to her the entire 6 hours she spent on it. Her mind was completely focused on it, and nothing distracted her. Not even her pesky little brother that kept running to the table asking a million questions seemed to bother her. I have never seen her so content before. She was truly in her element. I think I am going to use this as sort of a therapy. Whenever she is having a rough day or one of her breakdowns, I am going to put a canvas in front of her and let her have at it.
As for the fighting, I have developed a new strategy. Whenever they start fighting, they have to hug for five minutes without arguing. If they argue while they are hugging, their time starts over. They thought I was kidding, and they tried me the first time. But they wound up hugging for nearly 45 minutes. They have only had to do it twice since then, and they were nearly perfect both times.
My grandmother lives next door, but we are not on speaking terms. I noticed that she has been watching the kids, and I can tell they have been on her mind. The other day she called them over to the fence and gave them a cupcake. I was a little hesitant to let them have their treats, but she would never hurt them. So, I figured, what the heck. Then, I had them make thank you cards to take to her. I sent them over to her house with their 10 year old brother (of course, I was standing on the front porch watching the whole time), so they could give her their cards. Then, out of the blue, she calls my house for the first time in nearly a year. She asks, in a very polite way, if I would send the kids to the fence. I agreed, and we all went out. I stayed on the porch and she met them at the fence with fudge sicles. They enjoyed every last bite, and we again made more cards. Well, this time, they each made her a book. I let them color a page front and back. Then, I took a plain sheet, and we did their handprints with paint. I included information about their age and such. Then, we wrote on the last page, "Thank you for the popsicles." They caught her in the yard and took them to her. Bunter even invited her to his birthday party, which caught me totally off guard. He did inform her that, "she must go around through the gate and knock on the door, because mommy doesn't let people climb over the fence." The next day, I noticed that she had set up a swing set with two swings, right next to the fence. The kids haven't taken notice yet, but I am almost certain that she is hoping they will. I can honestly say, I think the kids are starting to wear her down. I can see the grandma coming out in her again. Our disagreements really have nothing to do with me and her. It all revolves around my mother (which is a whole nother post). I hope my inclinations are correct, because it would be really nice for the kids to get to know their great grandmother.
Well, I need to get some sleep, so I am signing out.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Well, all of the paperwork has been sent to the attorney. He said that everything should be completed within one month...and I hope he knows what he is talking about. DFACS is still on us about respite, and I have four caseworkers calling me now. I can't take in everyone's kids...LOL! Of course, my caseworker gets dibs on me because she has always been there for me (since she started about a month and a half ago..HaHa).
Bunter absolutely amazed me yesterday! For the first time in three months, his teacher said he had a "wonderful" day. They went on a field trip, and sang at a huge convention. Of course Bunter behaved, but only because they satisfied his passion in life.....SINGING! The boy sings at when he wakes up, sings while he is brushing his teeth, sings at the table, sings at school, sings while watching movies, sings in the bath, sings to put himself to sleep...and he even sings while he is sleeping!!! He wants to learn how to play the guitar, he wants to take singing lessons, and he wants to take dance lessons.....and he is only 4! This is going to be one expensive kid!!!! Hopefully, he will grow up and become the next American Idol...and pay for my retirement home! HAHAAA!
Bear is on track at school. She continues to do better with academics, but I wish she could learn better social skills. She has no boundaries. She will jump on a complete stranger and rub all over them like she has known them forever. She even tells them she loves them! That can not be a normal part of development. She says she has a boyfriend at school, but she doesn't know his name. I informed her that she can not date until she is out of college, and at least 30 years old....:) She is so grown up for her age, and she tries to think like an adult. She has already decided which car she wants when she turns 16. She wants a yellow bug!! I hate those things, but she loves them (probably only because I hate them)! We made it through another day with only a few minor meltdowns. She started thismorning, but I am still hiding in my room. I am letting my husband deal with the drama until he leaves for work. She always gets worse when her brothers come to visit, and they are here for the weekend. We get them every other weekend. One is ten and one is seven. They are pretty good boys, but they to have problems that have arisen from being in foster care. Now, they live with their biological grandfather. They are the only three that we still let associate with Our two.
The biological mother of our two has a severe history of mood disorder, bipolar, and drug abuse. She has been in and out of jail. She served quite a bit of time for forgery. The lady has some serious problems.
The biological father is bipolar, and he has several drug addictions. Jail is home sweet home for him. He gets out for a while, but then he finds a way to return. Assault, breaking and entering, burglary...you name it, he's tried it.
Well, enough for now. I have to get dressed and haul these children all over town...UUUGGHHHH! I would rather hold myself hostage for the rest of the day. I am quite content in my room thank you!
Bunter absolutely amazed me yesterday! For the first time in three months, his teacher said he had a "wonderful" day. They went on a field trip, and sang at a huge convention. Of course Bunter behaved, but only because they satisfied his passion in life.....SINGING! The boy sings at when he wakes up, sings while he is brushing his teeth, sings at the table, sings at school, sings while watching movies, sings in the bath, sings to put himself to sleep...and he even sings while he is sleeping!!! He wants to learn how to play the guitar, he wants to take singing lessons, and he wants to take dance lessons.....and he is only 4! This is going to be one expensive kid!!!! Hopefully, he will grow up and become the next American Idol...and pay for my retirement home! HAHAAA!
Bear is on track at school. She continues to do better with academics, but I wish she could learn better social skills. She has no boundaries. She will jump on a complete stranger and rub all over them like she has known them forever. She even tells them she loves them! That can not be a normal part of development. She says she has a boyfriend at school, but she doesn't know his name. I informed her that she can not date until she is out of college, and at least 30 years old....:) She is so grown up for her age, and she tries to think like an adult. She has already decided which car she wants when she turns 16. She wants a yellow bug!! I hate those things, but she loves them (probably only because I hate them)! We made it through another day with only a few minor meltdowns. She started thismorning, but I am still hiding in my room. I am letting my husband deal with the drama until he leaves for work. She always gets worse when her brothers come to visit, and they are here for the weekend. We get them every other weekend. One is ten and one is seven. They are pretty good boys, but they to have problems that have arisen from being in foster care. Now, they live with their biological grandfather. They are the only three that we still let associate with Our two.
The biological mother of our two has a severe history of mood disorder, bipolar, and drug abuse. She has been in and out of jail. She served quite a bit of time for forgery. The lady has some serious problems.
The biological father is bipolar, and he has several drug addictions. Jail is home sweet home for him. He gets out for a while, but then he finds a way to return. Assault, breaking and entering, burglary...you name it, he's tried it.
Well, enough for now. I have to get dressed and haul these children all over town...UUUGGHHHH! I would rather hold myself hostage for the rest of the day. I am quite content in my room thank you!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Well, the kids hung out with me today. I had eye appointments, doctor appointments, and a meeting with our caseworker. The kids are officially released for adoption. They gave us a list of attorneys to chose from...I just hope I choose the right one. We offered to do respite care in a few weekends. There is a huge foster parent retreat (that I couldn't afford due to our recent trip to Canada), and everyone seems to be looking for respite. This should be interesting. We are also looking at another child, and I am hoping that maybe things will fall into place. Yes, we have our hands full already, but I love challenges.
We had no major tantrums today. Everyday that goes by without one is a blessing. Bear got mad this morning, and she started to have a meltdown. To my surprise, she actually worked with me before she got herself into to much trouble. She did cause a little scene, so I let her choose her own consequence. She chose to go to bed early, and at 7:00pm she went to bed with no fuss. If I had not given her a choice but told her she had to go to bed early...WWIII would have began. I think I may start letting her choose her own punishments from now on. Actually, she will probably chose worse things than I would :)
We had no major tantrums today. Everyday that goes by without one is a blessing. Bear got mad this morning, and she started to have a meltdown. To my surprise, she actually worked with me before she got herself into to much trouble. She did cause a little scene, so I let her choose her own consequence. She chose to go to bed early, and at 7:00pm she went to bed with no fuss. If I had not given her a choice but told her she had to go to bed early...WWIII would have began. I think I may start letting her choose her own punishments from now on. Actually, she will probably chose worse things than I would :)
Well, this is my third blog, and sooo much time has passed since my last. I have now graduated, and I have been teaching for a little more than 6 months. I teach third graders, and I love them. I work with challenged students, and they keep me on my toes.
I still have most of our dogs and both cats. One dog, Coty, passed away from Kidney failure. He was a real tropper. cotybearbaxter.tripod.com
Now, on to the good stuff. We finally got approved, and we were introduced to two children. We have "Bear," our six year old girl. We also have her brother, "Bunter." They are quite a handful. She turned six December 31st. Bunter will be five on the 20th of this month. We had to fight really hard to get them, and we went through several caseworkers in the process. The DFACs journey has not been a pleasant one.
Finally, the kids moved in this past October, and they have had so many mixed emotions. "Bear" went into foster care at 17 months old, and "Bunter" was only 3 months old. She moved six times and he moved five. When the finally came to us, they couldn't control themselves. We nearly lost control, and had it not been for their wonderful fosterparents before us, we probably would have.
About Bear:
She has been diagnosed with several disorders, but they are doing another psych evaluation on the 12th. She is ADHD, ODD, BPD, and maybe BiPolar. She has tantrums, she throws things, she breaks things, she loses it. Who can blame her??? She has been thrown around like a piece of trash her whole life. She doesn't trust anyone, and I understand where she is coming from. She was abused in her biological home and at least one foster home. We are making strides, but I know it will take a long time before she can trust again. She is so smart, and she is absolutely beautiful. She is learning to read, and she loves it! She likes bright, light colors. She is scared of snakes and cops. She has nightmares that cops are shooting her, and snakes are biting her. She loves to talk, and she is 100 percent tomboy!
About Bunter:
He has ADHD, and he loves to get into things. He loves to color, sing, and dance. He stays in trouble at school, and he has already come close to being kicked out of Pre-K. He has the most beautiful blue eyes, and the cutest country accent ever. He isn't violent, but he throws tantrums. He slobbers everywhere when he gets upset, and it's almost like he can't turn it off. He aggravates the dickens out of his sister, and this drives me crazy. He hates to sleep, and he only likes cold baths. When I say cold, I mean ICE COLD!!! When he first moved in, he would scream and cry if you even mentioned using warm water. Finally, he got sick oneday, and I told him it was probably because the cold water didn't kill the "germ bugs" that were living on his skin. Now, he takes a warm bath...but he still hates it!
Tomorrow is a big day for us. They are releasing the kids for adoption. We can finally get an attorney...Wooohooo! I hope this process is much smoother than getting the kids moved in. They were going to release them on Valentine's Day, but the caseworker called, and she informed me that they decided they would just do it tomorrow. Just like that! Go Caseworker! I have the most wonderful caseworker, and I hope she sticks around for a while. When this is over, we want to adopt two more. I would love for her to handle our next adoption! She is so sweet, and she gets along great with the kids.
Well, that is all for tonight! I need to get some sleep! WE had a huge day today, and I am the only one still awake in the house.
Goodnight!
I still have most of our dogs and both cats. One dog, Coty, passed away from Kidney failure. He was a real tropper. cotybearbaxter.tripod.com
Now, on to the good stuff. We finally got approved, and we were introduced to two children. We have "Bear," our six year old girl. We also have her brother, "Bunter." They are quite a handful. She turned six December 31st. Bunter will be five on the 20th of this month. We had to fight really hard to get them, and we went through several caseworkers in the process. The DFACs journey has not been a pleasant one.
Finally, the kids moved in this past October, and they have had so many mixed emotions. "Bear" went into foster care at 17 months old, and "Bunter" was only 3 months old. She moved six times and he moved five. When the finally came to us, they couldn't control themselves. We nearly lost control, and had it not been for their wonderful fosterparents before us, we probably would have.
About Bear:
She has been diagnosed with several disorders, but they are doing another psych evaluation on the 12th. She is ADHD, ODD, BPD, and maybe BiPolar. She has tantrums, she throws things, she breaks things, she loses it. Who can blame her??? She has been thrown around like a piece of trash her whole life. She doesn't trust anyone, and I understand where she is coming from. She was abused in her biological home and at least one foster home. We are making strides, but I know it will take a long time before she can trust again. She is so smart, and she is absolutely beautiful. She is learning to read, and she loves it! She likes bright, light colors. She is scared of snakes and cops. She has nightmares that cops are shooting her, and snakes are biting her. She loves to talk, and she is 100 percent tomboy!
About Bunter:
He has ADHD, and he loves to get into things. He loves to color, sing, and dance. He stays in trouble at school, and he has already come close to being kicked out of Pre-K. He has the most beautiful blue eyes, and the cutest country accent ever. He isn't violent, but he throws tantrums. He slobbers everywhere when he gets upset, and it's almost like he can't turn it off. He aggravates the dickens out of his sister, and this drives me crazy. He hates to sleep, and he only likes cold baths. When I say cold, I mean ICE COLD!!! When he first moved in, he would scream and cry if you even mentioned using warm water. Finally, he got sick oneday, and I told him it was probably because the cold water didn't kill the "germ bugs" that were living on his skin. Now, he takes a warm bath...but he still hates it!
Tomorrow is a big day for us. They are releasing the kids for adoption. We can finally get an attorney...Wooohooo! I hope this process is much smoother than getting the kids moved in. They were going to release them on Valentine's Day, but the caseworker called, and she informed me that they decided they would just do it tomorrow. Just like that! Go Caseworker! I have the most wonderful caseworker, and I hope she sticks around for a while. When this is over, we want to adopt two more. I would love for her to handle our next adoption! She is so sweet, and she gets along great with the kids.
Well, that is all for tonight! I need to get some sleep! WE had a huge day today, and I am the only one still awake in the house.
Goodnight!
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