It's been such a long time!

Well, I haven't written in such a long time.  My sweet little girl is doing amazing.  She is a little over a year old now!  How time flies.  I have been spending as much time with the family as I can, and I forgot all about this blog.  I desperately need to update it.

Kinsley was born was posteromedial bowing of the tibia.  Her tibia was basically c-shaped, so her toes touched her knees when she was born.  We have traveled to and from Tampa, in order to see the doctors at the Shriner's hospital.  They are wonderful!  We go every four months for a check up.  Kinsley wears a brace all day long now, but she is walking like a champ.  She walked even before we got the brace (three days before her first birthday). That amazed me.  When she was born, the first doctor we visited wanted to cut her foot off.  He made it seem like she would never be able to do anything unless she had a prosthetic.  Boy was she wrong!  She does anything and everything she wants.  She even climbs!  Scares me to death.

Kinsley's first birthday picture!

My sweet girl!

As far as the other six kids go.  I don't even know where to start.  They stay in trouble and I think they are trying to kill me.  All three boys are facing misdemeanor charges for sodomy, because they thought it would be a great idea to experiment on each other and a neighbor boy.  I will give them credit though!  For once it wasn't their idea!  It was the neighbor kid who approached them about it all, and they agreed.  Shocking!  I didn't know how to process all of this when I found out, but we are dealing with it.

Hunter constantly steals and Jacob thinks everything in life is a joke.  Michael screams and hollers about everything, all day everyday.  I wake up to screaming and I go to bed with the same.  The girls are doing OK for now.  Alexia is working to earn a cell phone.  She has to collect coins (those silly little pirate coins) in order to get her phone.  She has to have 20 total.  Right now she has 11.  All she had to do is make it through the day with no meltdowns! :) For her, that is a very difficult thing to do.

I have found out that DFCS does not support you the way they promise when you adopt kids from foster care.  When we first agreed to adopt the kids, we were told that we could always ask them for help if we faced challenges that we were unable to overcome.  We were under the impression that the kids would be provided certain services.  No one at DFCS seems to remember that now.  We are just trying to survive.  I love my kids, but I hate living with the constant drama and stress.

Anyway, I am going to try to keep my story updated now that the baby is more independent.  I don't think anyone actually reads this thing, but it helps keep me grounded.  I find it very satisfying just to type out what I am feeling.  To anyone that may read this, I hope you have a blessed day!

It's a Girl!

Meet Kinsley Madison Rayne Baxter! She apparently wants to be an acrobat when she grows up. Her heart beats so close to mine. At this moment, no one can be closer to me than she can. She is mine. No one can take her away from me (which is the part I like best). I was blessed to be able to adopt 6 beautiful children who I love with all my heart, but I missed their baby years. Oh how I have longed for those baby years. Always wishing for something I could never have. Always wanting to rewind time and rock them, feed them, burp them, and take care of them. Impossible. Then there are others. I have kept so many babies over the years as a foster parent, but they were not mine. They all had mommies to go home to, and they all carried a piece of my heart away with them when they left my care. Watching each one leave was heartbreaking, because I fell in love with them all. I had no choice, and most of them are back with wonderful mommies who take very good care of them. But this one....this one I don't have to give away. There is no other mommy. I am the only mommy she will ever have and ever know. I get to keep her as long as God allows me. I only have to share her with her daddy. I worked hard for ten years trying to bring her into this world. Finally, she is on her way. I can't explain the emotions surrounding this baby girl. I pray that I can be the mother she needs me to be. I want her to always be able to look back and know that her mommy loves her without a doubt, because I do. I really do. My sweet, precious angel. My gift from God. The last piece needed to complete our family.

All Day Morning Sickness

I have not written in a while, but I have been stricken with all day morning sickness.  The blessing that I can say I have been given is summer.  Being a teacher, allows me to rest during this time, and I am so thankful.  I don't imagine that I would be able to make it threw work all day.  I am just over ten weeks pregnant, and so far I have not had any complications. 

The rest of the kiddos are hanging in there.  This has been a pretty boring summer for them, because mom is always sick.  We have been couch potatoes, and we have watched a lot of tv.  Behavior wise, we are surviving.

I got a phone call from DFACS about the teenager that left a few months ago.  They wanted to know if I had any concerns about him, and they wanted to know if I wanted him back in our home.  Ummm...NO!  I love him, don't get me wrong.  I wish we could help him....but I can't!  I tried for two years.  I can not put my family through that again.  He was violent and unpredictable.  I guess they are going to put him back in foster care from what I gather.  I told them three suggestions.  No small children, no animals, and make sure that the household has a man in it.  Otherwise, he will eat them alive. 

On a good note, we got our pool liner replaced today!  Finally!!!!  At least the kids will be able to swim now.  This will be a nice activity for us all, and it will get me out in the sun a little bit.  Since becoming pregnant, I stay inside all the time.  I get hot so easily, and I become very miserable. 

Well, I am having internet connection issues lately, so I am going to get off of here before I lost connection and lost my post! 

A Baby Scare!

Well, I spent all last night in the emergency room.  I was hurting down my right side (all the way into my toes).  I was scared to death of an ectopic pregnancy, so I decided to go staight to the hospital.  They did an ultrasound, and the dr. discovered a 3 cm cyst on my right ovary.  They said it is probably the corpus luteum cyst.  Anyway, it has been leaking behind the uterus, and that is what is most likely causing the pain.  The baby is way to small to see, but you could see the gestational sack.  I was just 5 weeks as of yesterday.  I have to go back to Jacksonville for an ultrasound on Saturday. I am hoping to be able to see the yolk sac by then.  I am ready to see some form of life in there.  My hcg levels at the hospital were 3300.  On Monday, they were 1,036.  They are doubling nicely, and that makes me feel so much better.  The cramping has eased off today, but I am still worried that the cyst might rupture.  I am leaving it in God's hands, and I am going to rest as much as I can, and try to stay positive.  I have decided to go ahead and start my registry.  I know it is wayyyyy early, but I have to do something to bring positive thoughts into my mind.  Stress is definetly not going to help a baby stay healthy.  The hospital also gave me a disc of my ultrasound images to bring home with me.  That was super nice of them I think! 

The rest of the kids are hanging in there.  I will update more about them hopefully this afternoon.  I have to get back to work for now.

Update on the Family and Baby

Well, I went to Jacksonville today for more blood work to make sure the pregnancy is viable.  My numbers all looked wonderful.  I go back June 3rd for my first ultrasound.  I am nervous, excited, scared, and amazed all at the same time.  So many emotions and feelings are rushing through me.  I spent the day waiting for results, so I passed the time shopping with my sister.  We went to Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby!  I could spend days and days in there looking at all of the gidgets and gadgets. 

The kids are all doing pretty well.  They are all much better since Brandon left.  We are still having trouble with arguing, snatching, pushing, and just being mean to each other in general.  Can't live in a perfect world I guess! 

Jacob isn't very happy about the baby right now.  He is scared that he will not get a much attention, and that the baby will get more attention than him (his words).  I understand these emotions, and we are going to do everything we can to make sure they all feel included before and after the baby comes. 

Alexia asked if I was going to love the baby more than I love them because this one is from my stomach (her words).  My answer was No!  I love them all the same amount, but I love them each in their own way.  They are all special to me in a way that the others aren't.  Alexia was my first girl, Hunter was my first boy, Jacob is my comedian, Michael has a smile that melts your heart, Cassadie is super helpful, and Skylar is my peanut.  They all have their own special little place tucked away in my heart.  All of their special places are the same size, and they don't have to share that space with any of the other children.  The new baby will be no different. 

We explained that the new baby will get more attention, because babies have to be taken care of.  They can not feed or dress themselves.  They can not go potty or tell you what is wrong.  Every baby gets extra attention in the beginning, and this is something that Jacob is just going to have to come to terms with.  However, I will try to make it enjoyable instead of painful. 

I still can not believe that I am pregnant.  As of today, my HCG is 1,036.  I can't believe it climbed that high in two days.  I was so worried that it would not double.  I was also freaked out about ectopic pregnancy, but the nurse said my numbers were so good that she doesn't think ectopic pregnancy is an issue.

All I do is hiccup and fart.  The horrible ugly truth!!!  I still have some random cramps and my instinct is to go and see if I have started my period.  Then it dawns on me that I am pregnant.  I feel better a little, but I still have some mother worries.  From what I understand, most new mothers worry themselves silly for the first trimester.  In 9 more weeks, my first trimester will be over.  So close, but so far away!  I want to enjoy my pregnancy, but I am scared to let go! 

A Terrible Trip and a Baby Surprise!

Okay, so two Fridays ago, my two fifth graders had a field trip to Disney World.  My husband and I went on the trip with them.  The charter bus we rode on had very little air, a non-working toilet, and no light in the little bathroom.  We got stuck sitting by the toilet!!!  Yuck!  The trip to Disney was alright, but we also got stuck with six other children to chaperone, while the fifth grade teachers walked around with no children.  I didn't pay 500 dollars for a trip that I had to do more work than the teachers on.  Then, on the way home, the bus broke down.  We were almost four hours from home!!!!  We were stuck on the side of the interstate for almost 6 hours.  Finally, we got off the interstate thanks to the Florida State Troopers, and we were taken to a service center.  Here we waited for a school bus to arrive from our home town (another 3 hours).  My husband got sick, so we got a taxi and went to a hotel.  We rented a car the next day and explored Orlando.  We just made a fun day out of it, because the previous day had been so crappy.  Why were we stuck so long on the interstate?  Well, because our school would not let our children get on any other mode of transportation due to liability!!!

So, for the surprising news!  I found out Thursday that I am pregnant.  After 10 years of trying (and failing), we are pregnant!!!  I went to the doctor on Friday to confirm.  All bloodwork came back amazing, and I am going back tomorrow to make sure all of my numbers are doubling.  I am nervous and excited!  I am scared too!!!  I have been waiting for this for so long, it still doesn't seem real!

The Teenager Strikes Again

Well, even though the teenager is gone, he is still causing us grief.  We got a phone call from his stepfather.  Brandon was over there yelling and cussing (acting crazy as usual).  The law had to be called to him, because he refused to do anything he was asked to do (like calm down and stop cussing).  I will be so glad when our guardianship is done away with.  I know for sure that he can not come home.  Never again will one of my children be afraid to close their eyes in their own bedroom. 

On another note, we went do Disney World and had a horrible experience.  We were left stranded on the side of the interstate with 50 fifth graders for 6 hours.  I don't have time to discuss it at the moment, but I will be back a little later.  Off to work I go!